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Session 2:  Communication in Relationships (Aug 23, 2017)
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Show Length - 27:27

Summary
Communication is almost always a cause or a symptom of both healthy and unhealthy relationships.  It is usually the most talked about issue when couples and families struggle.  I have devoted an entire episode to discussing several ways to develop more healthy ways of thinking about communication and how better to talk to each other.
Today's Goodies
  • Hearing and Understanding are more important than Problem Solving and Advice
  • FBI Hostage Unit Behavioral Change Stairway Model is a great step by step communication method that can adopted to fit couples and families.  It involves Active Listening, Empathy, Rapport, Influence, and Behavioral Change.
  • Asking “How” and “What” and not “Why.”  Be more curious. 
  • The Four Horsemen (a phrase coined by relationship researcher John Gottman) are scientifically shown to cause breakdowns in relationships when used frequently.  They are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
  • Words, Body Language, and Tone are the three items that people remember from interactions with others.  Science says Body Language accounts for 55% and Tone at 38% for a whopping 93% of the impact that an interaction has.  Words only account for 7%. 
  • Taking a “we” mentality instead of a “me” mentality.  The problem is the problem, not the other person​.  
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